Dumb government spending doesn’t stop at the 49^th parallel. 

U.S. President-elect Donald Trump announced the creation of a Department of Government Efficiency, with a mandate to “dismantle government bureaucracy, slash excess regulations, cut wasteful expenditures, and restructure federal agencies.”

Those marching orders sure would sound good in a prime minister’s mandate letter to a finance minister. And here’s the blueprint they should follow.

Begin with crazy research Canadian taxpayers are forced to subsidize. 

The Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council spends $1 billion a year supporting “research and research training in the social sciences and humanities.” 

Here’s a little taste of the reports it funds with your tax dollars:

• Gender Politics in Peruvian Rock Music ($20,000)
• Cart-ography: tracking the birth, life and death of an urban grocery cart, from work product to work tool ($105,000)
• My Paw in Yours: Dead Pets and Transcendence of Species Divides in Experimental Art-Making Practice ($17,500)
• Playing for Pleasure: The Affective Experience of Sexual and Erotic Video Games ($50,000)

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Parks Canada put Mr. Magoo in charge of its hunting operations. It spent four years and $10,000 capturing a single bullfrog and dropped $800,000 hunting 84 deer on a B.C. Island. How can a simple hunt cost $10,000 per deer?

Well, hunting gets more expensive when instead of your grandpa’s old rifle, you use prohibited semi-automatic weapons, instead of a box of shells, you get a crate of ammo, and instead of your buddy’s old pickup, you rent a helicopter for $67,000. 

Or how about the $8-million barn at Rideau Hall. Or $12,500 live senior citizen sex story shows. Or the $8,800sex toy show in Germany. Or the millions wasted producing government podcasts no one listens to. 

Then there’s government officials living high on the hog.

Governor General Mary Simon spent $71,000 on limo services in Iceland. Bureaucrats spend $76,000 a month renting art. Global Affairs Canada spends $51,000 on booze a month. 

Now, the big stuff.

The size and cost of the government is out of control. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau hired 108,000 new bureaucrats. That’s a 42 per cent increase in less than a decade. 

Had the bureaucracy only increased with population growth, there would be 72,491 fewer bureaucrats today.  

Average compensation for a federal bureaucrat is $125,300. Cutting back the bureaucracy to population growth would save taxpayers $9 billion every year.

It’s time to stop rewarding failure with bonuses. 

The feds dished out $1.5 billion in bonuses since 2015. 

And the bonuses flow despite federal departments only managing to hit half of their performance targets once in the past five years. 

Government executives overseeing ArriveSCAM took $340,000 in bonuses.

The Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation rubberstamped $102 million in bonuses amid the worst housing crisis in Canadian history. 

The Bank of Canada printed $20 million in bonus cheques in 2022, as inflation reached a 40-year high. 

The CBC dished out $132 million in bonuses since 2015. 

The next thing on the chopping block? Corporate welfare. 

Trudeau put taxpayers on the hook for $30 billion in subsidies to multinational corporations like Honda,Volkswagen, Stellantis and Northvolt. 

Federal corporate subsidies totalled $11.2 billion in 2022 alone. 

Shutting down the federal government’s seven regional development agencies would save taxpayers an estimated $1.5 billion annually.

True efficiency would also mean eliminating failing government operations altogether. The feds should sell any Crown corporation that can, or should, be left to the private sector. 

Here are a few examples.

The CBC, which takes more than $1 billion from taxpayers annually.

Canada Post, which lost $1.2 billion in the last two years and forecasts “larger, unsustainable losses in future years.”

VIA Rail, took $1.8 billion in taxpayer cash during the past five years just to cover operating losses. 

The bad news for taxpayers is we pay too much tax because the government wastes too money. The list of wasteful spending in this article is far from exhaustive. 

Other examples include the multi-billion dollar gun confiscation that police officers say won’t work, the $25-billion equalization scheme and taxpayer-funded media bailouts, among others. 

The good news is a champion of taxpayers could make massive cuts and barely anyone outside the Ottawa bubble would notice. 

This is the blueprint to slash Ottawa’s wasteful, bloated bureaucracy. All we need now is a prime minister with the guts to pick up the scissors. 

This column was originally published in the Western Standard on Nov. 19, 2024.